How to start a conversation with someone you’re worried about

Choose a moment that feels safe

CAMH recommends raising concerns when people are calm and the person is not drinking or using drugs. Explain that you care, refer to specific behaviour rather than labels, and invite a response. If approaching the person feels unsafe, seek professional support instead of trying to handle the conversation alone.

Source: CAMH: Take Action — alcohol, other drugs and your family.

Try an opening you can make your own

Here is an example, not a script you have to follow: ‘I care about you. I’ve noticed some things that worry me, and I’d like to understand how things have been for you. Would you be comfortable talking?’ Use your own words and only refer to events you have actually observed.

• What would you like me to understand?
• Would information about support be useful?
• Is there a small next step you would want help with?

You can leave room for another conversation

The conversation may not end in an agreement about treatment. You can offer a resource and make space to return to the subject. CAMH’s family guidance also encourages looking after your own wellbeing and boundaries. Getting support for yourself does not depend on convincing another person to enter a program.

Source: CAMH: When a family member chooses not to seek help.

Find support for your own questions

CAMH’s Family Service supports adults concerned about another adult’s substance use; that person does not have to be receiving treatment at CAMH. Check its current referral information directly. ConnexOntario can also help you find local services.

Source: CAMH: Family Service.

When you contact Karl

You can ask about the referral process or family resources. Use your own contact details and keep another person’s medical information out of the website form and social comments. An introduction to ART should be discussed with the person and made with appropriate consent. For immediate danger, call 911 rather than waiting for an email reply.